


It's Okay To Lose Your Mind

by threepartsofme



Category: Pentagon (Korean Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Kindergarten & Pre-school, Childhood Friends, Growing Up, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change, veryyyy slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 16:37:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10312550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/threepartsofme/pseuds/threepartsofme
Summary: Changgu and Yan An growing up together.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This story includes Korean wordplay (kind of?) and I will try to explain it to the best I can if it gets complicated but a basic understanding is sufficient (but if you don't, it is completely okay). I don't understand Korean either so it might be wrong :')
> 
> There are also English jokes but none of them speaks English. They all speak Korean unless stated otherwise. 
> 
> Please excuse any grammar errors and I hope you enjoy ^^

The apartment beside unit-304 had always been vacant, or at least it had been through most of Changgu's life - which wasn't that long considering he’s only five years old. Just a tiny boy about half a year into Kindergarten whose legs are too short for this big world.

The last person who stayed there was an elderly woman who left when he was only a year old. The only reason why he knew about her was due to the constant bombardment of questions to his mother, quite talkative for his age but his mother had claimed that it's 'healthy development'. But like how one’s delight at a baby’s first word easily goes sour when it won’t shut up, his queries got too incessant and she decided it wouldn't hurt to, you know, tell him that that reason nobody wanted to live there was because it was haunted by a vegetable spirit (he wasn’t so sure of what she said but it sounded like vegetable so he assumed it was what she meant). The occasional harmless parental lie. And being the naïve toddler he was, Changgu completely believed her. It shut him up for a while, the Yeo household was quiet for those few days until Changgu started to take a deviant interest in ghosts and the supernatural and thus the questions resumed.

His curiosity about the adjacent unit eventually died down (he decided that the vegetable spirit wasn't as interesting as an animated penguin) until a few months ago, after kindergarten -- his mom was fumbling for her keys when Changgu spotted a couple of strangers standing outside unit-305. They were all like skyscrapers to him, Changgu barely reaching past their knees, except for one particular boy - he didn’t tower over him like the others did but he was still much taller.

His skin was incredibly pale, like the white crayon in his Crayola pack that he rarely ever used or the white gold earrings his mom loved so much. And in his juvenile mind, the only possible explanation could be-

"Eomma! Ghost! Ghost!" he cried out in a mixture of excitement and impatience, bouncing as he wagged a finger frantically at the (ghost) kid, the other hand tugging at his mother's dress.

The kid looked utterly horrified, brows raised and lips parted as if he just been wrongly accused of stealing a classmate's pencil. It wasn't long until his eyes started to glisten with tears.

One of the adults, a woman, clicked her tongue and cradled the weeping boy. The lady hushed the kid, smiling apologetically at the other adults and Changgu’s mom as the child wailed. His mom apologised to the lady and Changgu made eye contact with boy’s puffy red eyes before he was pulled into the apartment.  

She scolded him that day, going on about being rude, having manners and that those people were potential neighbours, not ghosts as Changgu had thought (though a small part of him was still convinced that that boy was the vegetable ghost). And also that he might have scared them off (but he disregarded that part because he wasn’t scary at all).

He kept asking about them for the next few months, wondering when they would come back which his parents could only answer with a shrug, unwilling to reveal that they may never even return. It’s quote unquote ‘too much grief for a small child’. They figured he’d forget about it sooner or later anyways.

With such an active mind like his, Changgu was obviously not satisfied with their answers. He’d knock on the walls that separated the two apartments to see if anyone would answer (spoiler alert: no one did) and try to sneak a peek into its window to check for any sign of people. One day, on the way home from kindergarten, he knocked on the door (“Are you inside?” he yelled as he pounded on the door with all the power his tiny fists could exert) but that only lead to sore knuckles and another lecture from his mom so he never did it again.

He was on the brink of giving up when it happened. It was just another Thursday morning, Changgu was watching the morning broadcast of Pororo before he had to leave for Kindergarten when a truck stopped outside their apartment complex. Usually, he’s less than willing to pry his eyes off the telly (one of the only times when his attention span isn’t meagre, sadly) but there was something gnawing at his insides that he just had to feed. He grabbed his little stool which he used whenever something was too high up (more often than he liked) and placed it in front of the window. Despite that, he still had to tiptoe to see the road.

“Changgu?” his mother called from the kitchen where she was finishing up the dishes. "What are you looking at?”

“Eomma they’re here!” he cried excitedly, pointing at the huge truck as if his mother could see. “Let’s go!” He hopped off the stool and rushed to where his mother was, tugging on his mother’s shirt incessantly and trying to pull her in the direction of the window.

“You still have school,” his mother said matter-of-factly, removing her gloves and setting them on the counter.

“But-”

“C’mon, wear your shoes. You’re going to be late.” She untied the apron and hung it on the hanging rack by the door.

Changgu stuck out his bottom lip in a pout, folded his arms and walked to get his socks. He knew well that arguing would only end with him getting scolded. He pulled the fabric onto his feet, hating how stuffy it felt (feet need to breathe too) but he had no choice.

And he didn’t hate kindergarten, really he didn’t - What’s there to hate? Friends, nap times, play times, it’s practically kid heaven - but he just wasn’t feeling it, especially since it stopped him from seeing ‘ghost boy’

After putting on his shoes (which did nothing to quell the stuffiness of his socks), he folded his arms and waited for his mother to get ready. He sat there sulking, bottom lip jutted out and eyebrows furrowed, unable to focus on the cartoon penguin with the amount of irritation crawling on his skin.

“Aigoo,” his mother sighed as she walked out of her room in a fresh pair of clothes and hair tied into a ponytail. She squatted in front of Changgu. “If you keep frowning like that it’ll become permanent, you know?”

Changgu’s face softened but his mood was still spoiled and he made sure it was evident.

“We’ll visit them on Saturday, okay?” she said in a sing-song voice, brushing Changgu’s fringe from his face. That only left Changgu in suspense, and he didn’t like it one bit.

“And we’ll make brownies~” She added as she stood up and slung his ‘Dooly’-themed bag over her shoulders.

His eyes lit up, mouth curving into the widest smile he could muster. He clapped his hands in excitement, eliciting laughs from his mom.

\---

He squints through the thick tempered glass door, trying to make out the shape inside the peculiar machinery.There’s a timer ticking away the minutes till the brownies are done and he’ll finally be able to visit the apartment. He’s sitting on a chair a few feet away from the oven, mother’s rules. Too close and you’ll burn yourself, and Changgu definitely doesn’t want that. He needs to look his best for later.

Still, he was curious about what was happening inside the mysterious heat machine, and the distance doesn’t offer a good view. But he knows not to try to push the boundaries. He can still feel the sweltering heat from this far away and he really doesn’t want his mom scolding him.

He had watched his mother make the brownies just now, mixing a bunch of differently coloured ingredients together that somehow ended as a brown mixture. His mom said it was called brownie butter but she must’ve been joking because that didn’t look anything like butter.

All he knows was that it had a lot of chocolate - the bitter powder type (there is no way chocolate is made from _this_ ) and chocolate bars he honestly prefers not melted. He’d known this was a special brownie because his mother had pulled out white flour and various other ingredients instead of those brown ones that came in boxes, which takes much lesser time but doesn’t taste as good.

A loud _DING_! causes him to jump a little in his seat.

“Eomma! It’s done!” he yells which is highly unnecessary as his mother was wiping the counter just beside him.

She grabs a pair of mittens from the rack, and opens the oven, releasing a wave of uncomfortable heat. Changgu wipes his forehead dramatically. She takes the pan out and places it on the stove. He groans upon remembering that it still needed to cool. He wants to visit Ghost Boy ASAP.

“Let’s get you dressed up,” she turns towards him, removing her mittens.

“I’m ready. Let’s go!” he shakes his head, heading for the door but his mom yanks him by the collar of his shirt.

“The brownies aren’t cool yet,” she says as-matter-of-factly. Changgu presses his lip into a thin line in thought.

And that’s how they end up in the living room on either side of the floor fan, the brownie pan in the middle, blowing on it to help cool it as if the fan wasn’t enough. Purely Changgu’s idea. If anyone were to see them right now, they’d think they were idiots but hey, it’s the “Yeo way” of doing things, as labelled by Changgu.

It did help immensely in cooling the dessert. In half an hour, it was ready to be cut and in another fifteen minutes, Changgu is waiting behind the door with bated breath, clutching a tupperware with the brownies inside, decorated with M&Ms of various colours but blue (because that’s his favourite and for him only). His mom is beside him holding a much bigger container. She raises an eyebrow at him in a silent question. He replies with a tentative nod, mocking confidence. In all honesty, he was scared. Nervous, actually. What if he doesn’t like him? What if he doesn’t accept his apology?

His mother knocks on the door before he could dwell on his doubts any further, the sharp thuds of the wood knocking him out of his thoughts.

He fixes his posture, putting his feet together, standing straight and head facing forward. It’s silent for a moment before the door swings open and he is met with a pair of milky white legs. He almost forgot how tall the ghost boy’s family was. He nicknames her “키신”*.

> ( *A play on 키가 ‘tall’ and 귀신 ‘ghost’ )

“Hello?” the woman says, blinking her eyes confusedly.

“Ah Hello,” his mother smiled, bowing down. Changgu followed hesitantly. “I’m Jeon Hye Bin and this is my son, Yeo Changgu. We’re your neighbours and would like to welcome you into the new apartment!” Changgu could tell that she was also nervous by the way her voice was trembling a bit. The woman looks at the two of them surprisingly.

“Y-You may come in,” she says with an awkward grin, opening the door wider and stepping back. It’s only now that he notices the slight accent she had. _Is she a foreigner?_ He wonders. “I’ll call my son. Please do make yourselves at home and sorry about the mess,” she says with a strange lilt, motioning to the living room which was littered with boxes.

The apartment was surprisingly neat, other than a few boxes, some half open. It looked rather homely, like his own apartment (the furniture was very different, though).

Changgu takes a seat on the couch, tupperware on his lap, his legs barely hanging over the edge.

“Yan An! We have visitors!” the woman calls. He places the brownies off his lap and kneels on the sofa, turning around, using the headboard as support. His mother gives him a displeased look but he ignores it, the curiosity boiling in his guts were far more important.

He gasps when he spots the ghost child shuffling to the living room, hand holding tightly onto the woman’s pants. He hid behind the woman’s frame, eyes fixed on Changgu with curiosity and maybe a little bit of fear (which Changgu disregards because he was the opposite of scary).

He feels the words erupt up his throat but a pinch on the leg silences him. His mother’s glare was deathly. If looks could kill, Changgu would be erased from existence. He sits back down on the sofa, swinging his legs in excitement as Ghost Boy and Tall Ghost make their way to the couch opposite them.

“Introduce yourself,” 'Tall Ghost’ nudges the boy lightly. His eyes widen in disbelief but he shakes it off.

“I’m Yan An,” the boy says slowly, bowing his head. He, too, has an accent.

“Yan An…” Changgu tested the word on his tongue. It felt funny and unfamiliar. He’s heard of Ye Euns and Yu Jins but never a Yan An, or anyone with Yan or An in their name. Still, he likes how it sounds.

“Nice to meet you Yan An,” Mrs Jeon chirped, “I’m Jeon Hye Bin.” She glances at Changgu.

“And I’m Yeo Changgu,” he adds, bowing his head too. “We’re your neighbours.”

Yan An looks at his mom confusedly. She replies with a string of words that makes Changgu raise his brows. He doesn’t understand a single word of it, except for ‘neighbour’. Yan An nods his head and turns his gaze back to Changgu.

“Are you forgetting something?” Mrs Jeon asked.

“Oh, right.” he looks at Yan An dead in the eye causing him to shift uncomfortably in his seat, “I’m sorry for calling you a ghost. Please accept this as an apology,” he bows down once more, arms stretched out in front of him, his hands clasped onto the tupperware. He keeps his head down until he feels the tupperware get taken from his hand. He immediately looks up, eyes twinkling with glee, relieved that Ghost B-Yan An accepted his apology.

“Thank you,” Yan An says shyly, retreating back to his mother’s side. Changgu cocks his head to the right. Yanan had used a polite ‘thank you’ to him which was odd because he was definitely older so he should’ve used “고맙다” like everyone uses to him. Still, it gave him a sense of superiority being addressed with such formality. He can’t wait to grow older and be a 'senior'.

“You’re welcome,” he grinned.

Their mothers fell into a conversation that Changgu couldn’t really focus on (how could he when Yan An is right across him?) but he manages to pick out some key points like how Yan An is Chinese and is surprisingly the same age as him. He’ll be lying if he said he wasn’t the least bit jealous. He bets Yan An doesn’t need to carry a stool to reach counters. Changgu isn’t the shortest in his class but a few girls were taller than him and that was damaging his self-esteem. His mother assures him that he’ll grow taller in due time but he wants to grow now.

A small crack echoes throughout the room, pulling Changgu out of his thoughts. He turns towards the direction of the sound and sees Yan An opening the tupperware. His heart almost skips a beat.

He watches intently, awaiting his reaction as the Chinese boy picks at the M&Ms. A pit forms in his stomach when he realises that Yan An might also like blue, AKA the ones he all ate. He never felt so guilty in his life.

“How about you go talk to Yan An?” his mother asks him gently as if she had felt Changgu’s nervousness. Changgu’s never been shy, ever, but something about Yan An intimidated him. (It wasn’t their height gap, Changgu’s too used to that kind of stuff.)

He fiddles with his fingers as he paces towards Yan An. He sucks in a sharp breath when he stops in front of the foreign boy whose attention had averted from the chocolate dessert to Changgu. They have a short staring competition before he finally makes a move.

“Hi, I-I’m Changgu,” he stutters, heart beating out of his chest.

“I know.” Yanan simply answers.

Changgu gulps, turning back to ask his mom for help, only to see that she was deeply invested in a conversation with Tall Ghost. He was all alone for this one.

“It tastes better with ice cream,” he says, chewing on his bottom lip, pointing at the brownie. Yan An follows his finger to the dessert.

“I don’t have ice cream,” he says flatly.

“We should go get some!” Changgu cries, grabbing Yan An’s wrist. In his eyes sparked a fire, engulfing whatever nervousness he had been feeling. “Eomma! Yan An and I want ice cream!” he yells a bit too loudly. He’s definitely going to get reprimanded once he gets home.

“Oh?” Yan An’s mother perks her head towards Yan An. Changgu’s narrows his eyes as she returns to speaking in Mandarin and watches in utter confusion at their exchange. She stands up, brushing the dust from her pants, and walks towards the kitchen.

She comes back later with what Changgu identifies as ice cream packets, with small panda designs on them.

“Please enjoy it,” Yan An’s mother smiles, handing one to each of them, in Korean this time. Changgu decides he likes her better like this. “Hye Bin-ssi, do you want one too?”

“No thanks,” Mrs Jeon replies, waving her hand slightly.

“Thank you!” Changgu smiles before opening the package. Inside was vanilla and chocolate ice cream in the shape of a panda, or at least that’s what he thinks it’s meant to be. He bet even he can draw a better panda than… _this_.

He takes the lid of the Tupperware and sets a brownie on it. He then places the ice cream on top.

“Here!” Changgu says as he grabs the dessert, making sure not to touch the ice cream (he hates getting sticky), and flies it close Yan An’s mouth. “Say ‘Ahh~’”

“Ahh~” Yan An complies. He bites off a small chunk of the brownie-ice cream mix.

“Good?” Changgu asks, eyes sparkling with delight.

Yan An nods his head, taking the brownie from Changgu.

“Yay! Do you know what this means?”

Yan An shakes his head as he takes another bite.

“It means we’re friends,” Changgu says as-matter-of-factly, grinning cheekily at the confused boy. He swallows before speaking.

“Friends?”

“Yes, friends. Fr-iends,” Changgu says slowly. “That means we’ll do things together.”

“Together… 同...”

“Dong? Dongmul?” (“Animal?”)

“Animal?” *

> (* Yan An says 同, pronounced tóng, which is one way to say ‘together’ in Chinese. Changgu mishears it as 동 (dong) and asks him if he means 동물 which means animal, confusing Yan An… and you, maybe)

Changgu furrows his brows in utter confusion. The two stare at each other for a good two minutes before Yan An stands up and walks away. Changgu watches as he runs into a room at the far end of the corridor and come back moments later with something square in his hands.

“Book,” Yan An says, holding it up in his face. “Animal.”

The cover showed a globe with cartoon animals around it. “Animals Around The World” is printed on it in big white hangul. A typical childrens' book.

Changgu motions him to seat beside him and they open it to the first page.

“There are many animals in the world,” Yan An reads slowly, pausing every few words. Changgu ignores that and cheers him on. Each page displayed an animal with its name written in Korean at the top right corner. Yan An flips through it quickly as if he had memorised the whole thing before stopping at a page.

“Panda,” he says, pointing at the drawing. He points to himself. “I like.”

“You like pandas?” Changgu asks. Yan An nods. “I like penguins,” he says, flipping to the page where the penguins were.

“Penguin,” Yan An repeats the foreign word.

“From English,” Changgu explains. He remembers his father telling him about the ‘loan words’ which were usually the hard ones. “Like gorilla.”

“Gorilla,” Yan An giggles, having found the word extremely silly.

Changgu smiles to himself proudly. He felt as if he was the king of the world, superior, powerful, euphoria coursing through his entire (tiny) being. He made Yan An laugh. And to him, this was the best thing he could ever achieve, the shiniest trophy, 'A+'.

Puffing his chest out, he stretches his arm out to Yan An.

"Friends for life?"

Yan An shakes his hand.

"Friends for life."

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter took so long. This story was supposed to be a collab with my friend but she got busy so I'm carrying it myself for now which means slow updates. Like, this chapter took 2 months (but primarily due to lack of inspo) hopefully, the following weeks will be more fruitful.
> 
> Oh, and, Changgu's mom, Jeon Hye Bin, is based entirely on the real actress of the same name. And if you're wondering why she is Mrs Jeon instead of Mrs Yeo, it's because Korean wives don't usually inherit their husband's last name.


End file.
